Just For You?

I’d heard it time and time again.

“Jesus would have died just for you.”

I’ve always accepted it as true, because after all, who wouldn’t want to believe it? But on one particular day, it hit different, suddenly seeming more far-fetched than ever. It felt more like a feel-good trope some hippie made up than an honest-to-goodness, incontrovertible, ironclad truth.

It’s more plausible to feel like I’m one of a big crowd of people following Jesus, and when he says, “I died to save you from your sins,” he’s talking about the collective “you,” or in Southern vernacular, “y’all.” Frankly, I’m just happy to be one of the bystanders, grateful that he didn’t single me out like a bouncer at the door of the world’s greatest club.

Truly, to be one of the group of people allowed entry into the great banquet of Heaven is gift enough. It’s a nice thing to say, of course, that he’d have done it just for me. I can nod appreciatively with a knowing wink, all the while respecting the efficiency of doing one mighty act to save billions and billions of people. There’s no downplaying the horror and brutality of the crucifixion, but if you’re willing to make that sacrifice, it’s a pretty good ROI. 

When it comes down to it, are any of us worthy enough to have any share of his inheritance? I know I do not deserve this golden ticket I have in my hands. And so of course I take it and pray he does not change his mind. One does not look a gift horse in the mouth, as they say. (I don’t know what it means, but people say it, whoever “they” are.)

But on this particular day, I couldn’t help it. I had to speak up.

“Really?” I blurted out. “He really would have gone through all of that, even if I was the ONLY one who’d benefit? He’d have done it JUST for me?”

Am I the only one who ever thought that’s maybe a step too far beyond belief?

Against my better judgment, I spoke up to the Creator of the Universe, and the words rose out of my heart, “Is this a real thing? All your representatives seem way too eager to throw around this idea that out of the billions of people who’ve ever lived, and the billions more who ever will, even if I was the only miserable wretch in danger of death, you still would have allowed yourself to be mocked and humiliated and nailed to that cross? They’re just saying that to make me feel good, right? Do you really expect me to believe this?”

Mind you, I knew I was playing with fire. I knew it would be a smarter choice to keep my mouth shut, hold fast to my golden ticket, and blend into the crowd, hoping not to draw any attention to myself and the obvious mistake that had been made to include me. Why give him a reason to change his mind?

Instead, I spoke up like an idiot, singling myself out. 

And Jesus looked straight at me, his eyes unmistakably drawn to mine. 

Everyone else in the crowd faded into mist.

I expected to be vaporized on the spot. But somehow, he didn’t seem mad. He wasn’t disappointed. He wasn’t offended.

He just looked at me with love and asked me about my oldest daughter.

“If you could give up your life to save Lucy’s, would you?”

I didn’t even have to think before answering.

“Yes.”

“Even though you have other kids?” Jesus replied.

“Yes.”

“But what about if you had five other kids, or ten other kids, or twenty? Would you still give up your life to save Lucy?”

“Yes.”

“Well, then you know,” he said. “You know exactly how it’s possible for me to give up my life just for you. I will leave the ninety-nine sheep to save one.”

And somehow, in a way that only he can, Jesus answered this deep theological question with a few of his own, solving an impossible riddle with the greatest of ease. It was a divine mic drop that flooded my heart with peace and love, settling this matter in my heart once in for all.

I suspect that even those who have not been called to parenthood will understand this logic on some level. But I know that every halfway decent mom or dad will immediately get this. No parent wants to see their child suffer. No parent wants to outlive a child. 

I guess the only questions are whether or not you believe God is a halfway decent parent and that you are in fact his child, made in his image and likeness, as he unequivocally declares again and again in his Word.

But if you believe that God is your Abba, and that He is indescribably good, then the debate is over. 

It’s true.

He really would have died just for you. 

“It is not the will of your heavenly Father that one of these little ones be lost.”

–Matthew 18:14