One of my favorite memories is spending time with Kim’s family over the holidays when we were dating. Gary, my future father-in-law, would make a huge pot of chili, and we’d spend hours in the kitchen playing the card game Euchre. Sometimes, we’d have two games going at once.
Euchre is popular in the Midwest, but although I remember high school friends playing it, I didn’t pick it up until Kim’s family showed me how to play.
It’s a game where players form teams of two and try to win “tricks” by playing the highest card in each round, with one suit declared as “trump” that beats all others. It’s a mix of strategy and luck, where players decide whether to play or “pass” based on the strength of their hand.
(When Gary was dealt less-than-desirable cards, he was famous for saying, “I’ve got a hand like a foot!”)
Euchre takes a while to figure out, particularly because the Jacks transform into the two highest value cards, called “bowers,” but only if they are a certain colored suit, which changes throughout the game.
There’s only one more thing you need to know to understand a lesson God has been drilling into me (and maybe it could help you as well)…
If you’ve been dealt an unusually strong hand, you can attempt to earn more points by “going alone,” whereby your partner sits out that round and you attempt to (literally) single-handedly defeat your opponents.
So.
Sometimes, when I look at the hand I’ve been dealt in life — my talents and treasures — I see some pretty strong cards. My artistic ability is one example. One might even say that I have several “trump” cards in my hand. (Spoiler alert: we all do!)
My problem is that I look at the hand I’ve got, and it’s not quite strong enough. There’s always one more strength I wish I had. One more card that, if I had it, would allow me to “go alone” and achieve certain victory.
Sometimes I take a weakness and try to turn it into a strength. More often than I’d like to admit, I just stew in envy and throw a one-person pity party for myself.
But here’s what God keeps reminding me: I’m not supposed to go it alone. He wants me to depend on Him and work with others. Other people have cards that will help me win my game, and I’m called to use the cards in my hand to help them win theirs.
It’s admirable to want to improve in areas where we are weak. And when it comes to eliminating vices and building up virtues, go full speed ahead! But when it comes to trying to turn an area where we are simply not gifted into a strong talent, we are wasting our time and falling into a subtle form of pride.
I am never going to transform into an energetic networker.
I am never going to become a pro at doing my own home repairs.
I am never going to morph into a great manager of people.
And that’s ok.
If there are strengths I don’t have that I wish I did, it’s because God didn’t think I’d need them to do His will.
Meanwhile, I’ve been given an incredible hand, but waste time lamenting the fact that I’m missing a left bower. (The second-highest valued card, for the non-Euchre aficionados.)
I wrote a whole book on how we overlook our own blessings and pine for someone else’s. That doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with it still.
Saint Bernard of Clairvaux, the twelfth-century Cistercian abbot and Doctor of the Church, said it well:
“The restless mind is tired out but never satisfied. The law of human desire is that we want what we lack instead of what we have. And we grow weary of what we have in preference to what we lack.”
–St Bernard of Clairvaux
As I write this, we’re heading toward Thanksgiving and the end of the Church’s liturgical year.
May God give us the grace to be grateful for the good cards we’ve been dealt, the wisdom to play them well, the humility to accept the assistance we need from others, and the charity to help others win.
And may your hand not be a foot.
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